Throughout our social media outlets, we often romanticize celebrity relationships like Beyonce and JayZ, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, Justin Bieber and Hailey, Saweetie and Quavo, et cetera. But as the outside looking in, we don’t see the full picture of these relationships. Many of us look at others’ relationships as goals, but are they really goals? We need to start focusing on what we want for ourselves when it comes to relationships and knows when a relationship is not serving us in a positive way and making us grow to be better. The talk of toxic relationships has been rising on social media, people are opening up about taking part in toxic relationships and so forth. But as members of Generation Z, are we romanticizing toxicity within relationships? To a certain extent, we are condoning it and joking about it. I often notice people laughing about being toxic in relationships on social media but especially on TikTok.

This past week some of us may have witnessed popular couple Saweetie and Quavo have a physical altercation in an elevator caught on video. While reading tweets and comments on the video I notice many people note that “he didn’t even hit her” while in the video he’s seen slamming her into the floor of the elevator while she is trying to exit the elevator. And not to discard that Saweetie was also hitting him before they approached the elevator. But in this situation we are demonstrated that we don’t really know nor can understand the relationships of others, so what really relationship goals? Because we’ve seen this couple happy on social media just a couple of weeks ago.

According to Merriam-Webster, the definition of “toxic” is “relating to or being extremely harsh, malicious, and harmful. It’s important for us to know the signs of toxicity within relationships so that we can avoid them and notice red flags. Cosmopolitan published “10 Not-So-Obvious Signs You’re in a Toxic Relationship” were the highlight things that may indicate you’re in a toxic relationship. Listed below are some signs that were listed in the article:

• Your partner gaslights you by either telling you how you feel or devalues your feelings when you share them
• They isolate you from friends, family or plans
• Often play victim in situations
• You are experiencing more stress, anxiety or excessive worry
• You experience nightmares 
• Make excuses for their behavior
• They are controlling 

But it is also important for us to have our own relationship goals based on our own values. Sometimes we get lost while romanticizing celebrity relationships because of cute pictures we see on social media, but we are only the outside looking in. 

Here are some guidelines and questions you should ask yourself before getting in a relationship: 

• How do you want your partner to make you feel? (loved, happy, inspired, motivated,etc)
• What are your expectations in a relationship? 
• Do you love yourself enough to love someone else?
• Are you happy? (you can’t expect others to make you happy)
• Are you ready to be in a relationship?