When I started watching this show on January 15th when it premiered, I had so much hope for it to be like the game and I have been extremely happy with how closely related it is. While there have been some episodes, such as episode 3 to be sort of like a side quest outside of the game origins, it brought us the sweetest story between Bill and Frank that definitely made watchers shed quite a few tears with how sweet and vulnerable it was. Fast forward to February 19th’s episode, what a rollercoaster of emotions it ended up being. 

   Beware: Spoilers ahead if you haven’t seen it yet!! 

Alright, can we talk about how Joel and Ellie’s relationship progression has panned out? Ellie went from “cargo” to “I’m scared I’m failing her” and “She’ll be much safer here with you” in Joel’s eyes. Definitely made me cry a lot. We really got a better sense of Joel this episode and why he is the way he is. Ellie found out about his daughter Sarah and the pieces began to fall into place regarding why he’s so cold and closed off. He’s an ongoing grieving father that has had to go through so much pain and death to even remotely try to survive. His monumental reunion with his brother Tommy definitely opened this familial and emotional side of him that had been distant for what seemed like 20 years. And finding out that Tommy was married and a soon to be father was a big catalyst for exposing these locked up feelings. I just have to say, this episode had to have sealed the deal on Pedro’s Emmy nomination for his portrayal as Joel Miller. His raw emotions showcased in this episode and his accurate way of portraying anxiety and PTSD really plays so well into his character development and how fantastic Pedro’s acting range is. Going from extremely closed off and cold for so long to suddenly more emotionally available and open isn’t an easy acting task. While we get even more of a sense that he isn’t overall completely a fan of Ellie yet after he says “You’re right you’re not my daughter and never will be”, we all know that he is on the verge of warming up to the fact that he has a friend and sort of daughter in Ellie. She trusts him completely and needs to be there with him and there for him to not feel scared in this terrifying world. What makes me saddest and the most scared is how Joel sees himself to be weak and unable to keep up with Ellie most of the time. We see this as evident when he gets impaled by a wooden bat at the end of the episode after he slipped up while fighting the vigilante that attacked them. HBO Max just wants to torture us until next Sunday because they left us with Joel passing out from the blood loss and falling off of the horse as they were leaving the Firefly compound. He cannot die yet, there is so much that needs to happen and Ellie needs him as a father figure no matter how he feels about her. This show has me so wrapped up in my emotions and I am seriously so anxious for the next episode because I have sort of an idea as to what will happen and I am terrified to see it pan out. Regardless, I am ready. Tune in next week for my next piece about the show!!