Finding Your Love Language

Reading Time: 5 minutes

With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, there’s an inevitable sense of love and lust in the air. For some, this is rather repulsive while others quite enjoy the romance. A great way to find balance in that is learning about your love language or languages. Whether you are single or in a relationship, it’s always beneficial to know and understand your personal love language because it can help you grow in different places in your life. For example, it can help grow your confidence within yourself, in the bedroom, and with non-romantic relationships. Finding which one, or more than one, suits you may be hard at first, but with the help of your natal chart alongside you, can become second nature. The placement that can help you figure this out easily is your Venus. Venus is the planet of love and relationships. It determines how and what you love. It also gives insight into what you are attracted to. 

There are five love languages: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. Breaking these down further, beginning with words of affirmation, this love language expresses itself through positive affirmations to their loved ones and enjoys hearing them back as well. These encouraging phrases are motivating and make the other person feel loved. They ensure the person feels appreciated through kind, genuine words. Practicing this love language on yourself is important in building confidence because you are affirming your own standards and accomplishments. Many Venus placements that fall into this love language are Scorpio Venus, Leo Venus, Aries Venus, and Sagittarius Venus. A Scorpio Venus is going to love words of affirmation because they like to know someone is paying attention to them closely and praising them honestly with good intent. A Leo Venus loves words of affirmation because they like to hear what they already know about themselves out loud. Lastly, an Aries Venus enjoys this love language because they like to know they are doing the right thing because Aries placements tend to act on impulse. A Sagittarius Venus expresses this love language through communicating exactly how they feel about the person in a loving way. They are known as a sign of communication and honesty and will not be afraid to express their love, when they feel it, to their partner, or themselves. 

Acts of service express themselves through caring for others. Oftentimes this looks like one person taking care of their partner or friend while they are sick in bed or recovering from surgery, helping with chores, homework, workload. If you are practicing this on yourself, it can mean a day of pampering yourself and taking a day off to relax. Acts of service are popular for people who have Venus in Cancer, Virgo, Aquarius, Taurus, or Pisces. These signs love to serve others and help in any way they can. A Cancer Venus is naturally inclined to nurture those they care about without warning. A Virgo Venus is very similar and will love to care for their partner in practical ways like cleaning their workspace and making sure they have everything they need in order to succeed. They would want the same done to them as well. An Aquarius Venus expresses this love language by doing a little for those they care about each day. This sign is deeply loyal and all about bringing together a positive community, so to express this love language they would want the acts of service to be projected onto the community around them rather than just themselves and their partner. A Taurus Venus will express their acts of service by being a caretaker as well and doing whatever their partner wanted. They will strive to do what is asked without hesitation because it is how they show they care deeply about this person, or themselves. A Taurus Venus will not say no to themselves when it comes to giving themselves a day off. Lastly, a Pisces Venus is fitting for acts of service because they are a water sign whose love is boundless. They will enjoy helping those they love and care about and taking them in with warm, open arms. 

Receiving gifts is all about giving and receiving thoughtful gifts and gestures, no matter the size. This love language can sometimes be misleading as people think it only goes one way and can look like someone just wants to be spoiled. This love language is oftentimes taken advantage of by some who are greedy. Receiving gifts as a love language is not about the price of the gift, but the thought behind it and the nostalgia and memories attached to it. People and placements with this love language are tangible people and like to be reminded of their partner, friend, or self when looking at this gift as a sign of love and appreciation. Capricorn Venus’ possesses this love language and oftentimes giving and receiving gifts for them says more than words could. It is easier for them to express their love for someone through little gifts than saying it. Libra Venus’ also expresses their love through gift-giving because they like the competitive aspect of it. They would enjoy getting to know their partner better as time goes on while gifting and receiving things that are more personalized and luxury in aesthetic. 

Quality time as a love language is expressed by creating memories together and just being together in general, whether that be running errands together or having a movie night. Meaningful conversations are also high up on the list as well because quality time is all about connecting with your partner, friend, or self. If you are trying to practice this love language on yourself, it is important to make alone time where you can connect with yourself, like doing yoga, meditate, pray, manifest, and or journal. Venus placements that express this love language are Sagittarius, Pisces, Gemini, and Leo. A Sagittarius Venus loves quality time because they enjoy traveling and learning, so to travel to new places alone or with a loved one is how to keep them loving life and their relationship. A Pisces Venus loves quality time in a similar way that a Sagittarius does, in that they want to make memories they won’t forget. Lastly, a Gemini Venus loves quality time because they like to dive deep into meaningful conversations and get lost in topics. They will jump from topic to topic while keeping the conversation flowing and their attention all on you. A Leo Venus enjoys quality time because it means a lot of attention and time will be brought onto them. This goes hand and hand with their other love language of words of affirmation. 

Lastly, we have physical touch, which is expressed through hugs, kisses, holding hands, and thoughtful private intimate moments. This love language may seem hard to express if you are alone, however, that is not the case. To express this to yourself, you can massage lotion on your body after a warm shower, massage hair oils in your scalp, hug yourself, feel your limbs, torso, and face. To express this to others, it has to be consensual and done with care. Taurus Venus’ loves physical touch because as an earth sign it is something tangible they can do to feel connected to their partner. Scorpio Venus’ express this love language by gently touching their partner. From the Scorpios perspective, physical touch relates to safety, attachment, and connection. Physical touch also includes nonsexual touching as well. Aries Venus also loves physical touch because they are independent, dominant, and ruled by Mars, which is the planet of sexual desire. A lot of Aries’s enjoyment of physical touch stems from being sexual and loved openly. 

Discovering your love language can open many doors for you and lead you to finding a partner, loving them better, loving yourself more, and loving others with confidence.